Bulwer-Lytton Winners Announced

This is the annual bad writing contest from San Jose State, named for Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton. He began his 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" with the often quoted words: "It was a dark and stormy night ..." This year's winners include David McKenzie, 55, of Federal Way, Wash., who penned:

"Folks say that if you listen real close at the height of the full moon, when the wind is blowin' off Nantucket Sound from the nor' east and the dogs are howlin' for no earthly reason, you can hear the awful screams of the crew of the "Ellie May," a sturdy whaler Captained by John McTavish; for it was on just such a night when the rum was flowin' and, Davey Jones be damned, big John brought his men on deck for the first of several screaming contests."